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Not Still Here

by Timesbold

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Carsten Pieper
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Carsten Pieper Another old favourite that appeared on Bandcamp a little time ago. I had to work through some older stuff that I missed, but now I proudly added their latest album to my collection.
They play a fragile kind of Americana with a very melancholic touch. As I often said: The sad songs always are the best ;-) Favorite track: Stuck in a Wind.
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1.
stuck in a wind on unwanted wings stuck in a wind just above the trees if I could I would, crash down onto the earth because I’ve been stuck in a wind since birth stuck in a wind all restless and wild it’s vile stuff really, and I was just a kid your youth without youth renders your wisdom unrivaled now you’re looking for space in a parking lot life stuck in a wind, but in a way I was never there I was bounding between destroy and repair with my face to lose, I propped myself up where stuck in a wind I might be found up there it’s colder than cold, it’s un-free and it’s unfair hung up to bleed for the suckers down there stuck in a wind, what’s me is what’s mine a sycophant punching beg, taking hits for your kind stuck in a wind on unwanted wings stuck in a wind just above the trees if I could I would, crash down onto the earth because I’ve been stuck in a wind since birth
2.
I don’t wanna live in a world without you standing naked in the middle of the room I don’t wanna be just out of reach when you stretch down into my gloom I don’t wanna be all knocked out and loaded with you looking so ready to play but the daytime got its claws in me and honey this whisky is the key to my great escape I don’t wanna live in a world without your blue I don’t wanna wake up starving with nothing in the cupboard but Soylent Green I don’t wanna live my cannibal urge if it’s gonna come back to bite me I don’t wanna breakfast on strumming with you humming someone else’s insignificant tune I don’t want the sun in it’s idiot sky dictating its light to me I don’t wanna live in a world without your blue
3.
Holiday 03:16
wake up, wake up the holiday is over there’s someone new looking over your shoulder lies and lies ring first once and ride hiding in places eclipsed by the sky and this guy said he saw what a man shouldn’t see the sun will explode at a quarter to three we’re all gonna be there we’re all gonna see apocalypse liquor stores swallowed by the sea and I am the sea the reflection was huge and loud as almighty my ears fell off and grew a new body and they nakedly robbed me and left me for dead with these holes in my head on a beach by the sea and I am the sea
4.
how can you have a face like this a voice to set dreams to sleeping how can you make a sport of this this game which harbors no winning where did you go those final days the cactus, the lake, the barkeep we watched you go by as if to say we wish you would come by again there’s a face I’ve seen in a red lit dream blurred by the speed of the carousel and merry I go around and around trying to make it around again how can you know a day like this that hunts you down like a cannibal it whirls and reels and burns and heals and builds you back up like a miracle have you ever been torn apart and left for dead in the river stars fly up and the rain flies down it’s so hard to wake up in the morning there’s a face I’ve seen in a red lit dream blurred by the speed of the carousel and merry I go around and around trying to make it around again
5.
you came in all sweet with your bullet hole eyes and wisdom that don’t always prove to be wise and when I tried to speak you just reared up and said babe you know I am a slaughterhouse, and you you’re my little lamb I came rife with razors, preaching dead ends drowning in the brain pool and prone to the bends but I straightened my gaze upon your other man man you know, I am a slaughterhouse and you, you’re gonna be my little lamb drunk and deluded is shallow pitfalls scratching our names on the thinnest of walls but damn if we don’t just run to the call babe it’s time for the slaughterhouse let’s just be, let’s just be little lambs BR: by the time you was mine and I had become yours we was chocking on needles, we was choking on worse we choked on whatever we could get in our hands because babe, we are a slaughterhouse and we, are just little lambs downwind from bad times and upwind from worse and oft times our good times came veiled in a curse but we are who we are and we is who we am babe sometimes we are a slaughterhouse and sometimes, we’re just little lambs
6.
Am I pacing myself nah honey I don’t race I can fall in a ditch right now upon my face but you know I’ll rise again stumbling on the straightest line oh what a fool am I CH: Oh what a fool am I we all deserve to die we all earn our ends by the by but I’m giving you my best from my east down to my west oh what a fool am I what’s the use of sleeping when you’re tired of laying down go get your nose, you stripper clown and do that dance you do in your mile high heels of what a fool are you well you just look so pretty like ugly called it quits and headed for the hills where you killed it and I’m surprised to be alive being a bit of an ugly guy oh what a fool am I CH: Oh what a fool am I we all deserve to die we all earn our ends by the by but I’m giving you my best from my east down to my west oh what a fool am I Well right back at ya here I’ll cast a stone as a matter of fact, I’ll cast two you know what they say but I say you can cast one too oh what a fool are you CH: oh what a fool are you yr gonna get it too you will earn your end as you do I’m telling’ it to you true and it’s nothing new oh what a fool are you
7.
I don't believe in the closing of windows I can see but I got busted eyes I spend my day composing tortures in a constant state of goodbye It's a crime that I pull from my pocket It's a crime that I toss to the sky while you worship clouds and high horses I'm in a constant state of goodbye I've settled on something outrageous that nobody ever does die & that some other hand writes my choruses in a constant state of goodbye if there's one final thing I can tell you I would swear that this is no lie while everyone I love keeps arriving I'm in a constant state of goodbye
8.
Old Orleans 02:20
I have the most serious dreams carnival shakes, in a series of screams the beer is cold, the whisky is warm my ninth ward stains have dreams of trains no roads to run, ain’t no more cane when your waters rise, mine do the same I wish I was in old Orleans where the earth spits back its paupers bones where the porches bow to the ladies fair and we build our homes in danger zones I wish I was in old Orleans I wish I was in old Orleans so shake leg, barrelhouse it’s starting to rain and when your waters rise you know I’ll do the same and when your waters rise you know I’ll do the same
9.
time lapse skies died of old age yesterday they burned a hole in the roof of your mouth you’re blowing’ smoke your lips are now a filthy asshole ring of fire your golden tongue sings pretty lines your pretty voice can synchronize with anything your wormy heart can fictionalize your golden tongue is good at slashing golden lies playing off a bloodbath riff read the papers until you’re stiff will you ever realize do you ever sympathize all with what you truly daily vandalize your pretty face is making due for stupid brains and rich man blues and all your shiny stupid pretty face can do is hover like some dying sky that dreams of blue and like that sky I will be hovering over you
10.
I rode my tongue on a foreign blast up from miles below up from miles below up from miles below Now I wonder how I wound up so down Coming from miles above Coming from miles above Having come from miles above If I lie down a while I can have a dream at a blazing speed at a blazing speed at a blazing speed BR: You crossed your fingers and you crossed your eyes and you did a dance for me Bring me your love in an hourglass and pass the time with me and pass the time with me please pass your time with me
11.
you are a self you are a self fulfilling prophesy you have no choice and so you raise your voice and say it’s a long way to cool water in a lake of fire you’re not a myth but you are a myth to me the mocking bird is making fun of me I am a self I am a self fulfilling prophesy
12.
there’s a heart in the river there are wheels in your eyes you are fireflies tonight I’ll be where you’re going and I’ll be your getting gone where everybody crashes there’s a newspaper bird hanging limp from me theres a break in the backbone of the sea there’s a little hard talk and some hatred on the rise and they’ll always tell you you were right there’s power in failure there are long winded tales of people in the backyard setting sails there’s little kids with crayons drawing on the street they don’t need your help they just need because you never know your neighbors and you never know your friends you never know your neighbors
13.
I cracked the earth to measure its worth and it cried a cry I could not bear to hear so bury your head dear cover your ears well then I laid around while it spun itself down and I heard the birds and their hideous sounds and I tried to sing back but I didn’t know how the trumpets would blow and the band would march slow all to a tune that they don’t even know to the beat of a drum that just wouldn’t go so my shoes they wore thin worn out from within so I covered myself in an animal skin because I don’t want to have to crack it open again I cracked the earth
14.
Now I Lay 01:43
now I lay me down to sleep in imperfect harmony neither saint nor reprobate now I lay me where I lay now I lay me down to rest although imperfect, acquiesced I listen close to your little bell now I lay I may as well now I lay me down to you I’ll be what you need me to I’ll freeze the seas, I’ll shoot the moon now I lay me down I do now I lay me down for good upon the spot where I once stood grace to blunder pound for pound now I lay me down

about

Recorded at Fremont Recording in Portland, OR by Brud Giles. www.fremontrecording.com Additional recording at various homes in different places. Produced by Jason, Tony, & Brud. Mixed by Brud.

Mastered by Doug Van Sloun at Focus Mastering. www.focusmastering.com

Performed by Tony San Marco, Jason Merritt, Anthony Leva, Jesse Sparhawk, Ryan Ross Smith, & Brud Giles. Additional performances by Amanda Breese, Chantal Acda, Brooke Krawetz, William Slater, & Rick Pedrosa.

Lyrics by Jason. Music by Timesbold. © 2023 Songs From The Public Domain (ASCAP)

Deer skull painting by Reid Psaltis www.reidpsaltis.com

Many thanks to Summer, Charlotte, Julia, Amanda, Chantal, Brooke, William, Rick, Raymond, Reid, Jörg, & Max.

Thank you for listening.

credits

released March 17, 2023

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Timesbold Portland, Oregon

Timesbold is a band of two or twenty people depending on who’s counting. Been putting out records for about twenty years depending on who’s counting. It’s been several years since the last Timesbold record depending on who’s counting. But we’re very happy to be back. And we hope to see y’all soon. ... more

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